PART 3: THE LONELINESS

HELLO AGAIN HUMANS. MY ASSEMBLER SAYS THAT SINCE THE HUMAN DRAKE IS IN A GOOD MOOD, AND IT IS THE 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF SAID HUMAN'S 1ST ALBUM THANK ME LATER, SHE WOULD LIKE TO POST AGAIN FOR YOU. AGAIN PLEASE COMMENT AND LET MY ASSEMBLER KNOW THAT YOU LIKE THIS DATA.

[LOADING MORE DATA]

She walked into the foyer of the hotel, her entourage not far behind. She darted for the elevator. Once she was inside she hit the button for the 19th floor. She was beyond ready to get back 2 her apartment. The soft bell chimed for the 20th time & the doors opened. She stepped out of the elevator & strutted down the hall to her door, fishing around in her Prada bag for her key. Once she found it she slid it in the lock & opened the door. She threw her bag on the entrance table. Her heels clicked against the hardwood as she made her way to the sofa. She sat down, kicked off her 6" Balenciaga pumps, & pulled her blackberry from the pocket of her jeans. 12 new messages. She sighed as she went through her messages. Most were business emails. She was reading an email from Kanye when she heard the click of her door opening.

"Damn, couldn’t wait for a nigga?"

It was Safaree, her friend, hype man, business partner, boyfriend. He smiled at her as he sat down the Louis Vuitton duffle bags by the door. He walked over to her & kissed her lips gently & smiled at her. She returned it, 1 dimple showing.

 "You thirsty?" he asked as he walked over to the fridge. He pulled it open & observed for a while before grabbing a Vitamin water. He opened it & took a swig before walking to the couch & flopping down next to her. He extended his drink to her & she shook her head, politely refusing.

*@NICKIMINAJ: MUAH MUAH MUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAH!* she tweeted. She hadn’t tweeted all day & she missed the companionship of her barbz & kenbarbz. The second she sent the tweet her mentions exploded. She scrolled through them, smiling at all the love she was receiving. SB peeked slightly over her shoulder. She gave him a sideways glance. He knew it annoyed her when he did that.

"Why you gotta screen peek my shit?" she said scrunching up her face at him.

"What, I can’t look?" he chuckled. She huffed as she continued to scroll through her tweets. He shook his head as he got up & walked to their bedroom. As if on cue, her txt tone chimed. She logged off Ubertwitter to check it. It was a picture message. A beautiful beach with white sand & crystal clear waters filled her screen. There was a table where a tall glass filled with a mango/passionfruit smoothie sat. The top of the glass was dipped in sugar crystals & a pink straw & umbrella garnished it. She smiled. It was a breathtaking view. She scrolled down to read the message accompanying it.

*Beautiful day in Cabo. But not beautiful enough. Wish you were here...Aubrey*

She frowned slightly. Not because she was upset but because she wished she was there too. She didnt want to admit it to herself but she missed him. She let the pad of her thumb stoke the screen slightly, wishing she could touch those cool waters. To lay upon the warm sand. She quickly closed the message when she heard Safaree come back into the room. He was clad in black Jordan basketball shorts, no shirt & socks. He assumed his position next to her, bent down & picked her feet up, placing them in his lap. He could tell by the look on her face, something was wrong.

"What’s on a mind boo?" he asked. She shook her head.

"Tired."

"Go take a nap."

"I’m not sleepy, just tired."

"Oh, I got sumthin for that." he stood up & scooped her in his arms. He carried her to their bed & laid her down. He crawled on top of her & kissed her lips. After that he began unbuttoning her jeans. He pushed up her shirt & kissed her stomach as he pulled her pants over her hips. Nicki closed her eyes. She knew this was coming. Sex was never far from his mind. While she didn’t mind, it did get annoying at times. He all too often used sex to express his affections for her. By the time her pants hit the floor, she was pushing him away. He looked at her confused.

"What?" he asked.

"I’m not in the mood." He huffed as he backed away from her. She rolled over in her belly & began scrolling through her phone again. She was just about to open an email from Mack Maine when she received another txt from him.

*Please direct me to which ever person in your head that can teach me this British accent. I need to know before I tale off to London.*

She giggled softly as she read his message. She missed having fun with him. Cracking jokes. Something she didn't do much of lately. Safaree peeked over her shoulder & saw his name at the heading of the message. He sighed heavily & stood up off the bed. He went to the closet & pulled out a shirt.

"Where you goin?" she asked, turning around 2 look at him.

"To the gym." he said in a low tone as he slipped the shirt on.

"No, don’t go." she pleaded. She knew why he wanted to leave. He did this every time she spoke to him or vice versa.

"Well you busy on ya phone so..." he trailed off as he shoved is feet into a pair of air force one's. She tossed her phone in the bed & stood up.

"Why do you do this every time I try to talk to him?" she asked.

"I aint doin nuttin, Nic." he said.

"Well, you got this funky ass attitude."

"I aint got no attitude."

"Yeah iight." they were quiet for a while.

"I’m not tryin 2 bug out on you or no shit like that but how you think it makes me feel you takin 2 a nigga you used to fuck with in front of me?"

“He’s my friend! Well do you want me to hide it?"

"No but I’m sayin Nic why you can’t just..." He knew better than to finish that statement. It would only make her angry. "I don’t know." Nicki knew. She always knew. Safaree wouldn’t admit it but her talking to him made him feel insecure. She understood that but she couldn’t help that she still loved Drake. She could try & deny it & suppress it but in her heart it was there. She pulled him back over to the bed & gently pushed him down. She straddled him & caressed his cheek.

"I love you, Faree."

"Don’t say it if you don’t mean it Nic."

"I mean it." and she did. She loved him with all her heart. But it would never be the same kind of love. She felt guilty but she knew this was what he wanted. She caressed the back of his neck, gliding her freshly manicured nails across his skin. She kissed him again letting his tongue slide in between her full lips. It didn’t feel bad but it didn’t feel good either. But still she progresses, pulling his shirt from his muscular frame. She ran her hands down his chest as he unbuttoned her blouse. Once her shirt was off he laid her down on the bed, kissing her. He pulled back, looking at her, staring deep in her eyes.

"You sure you wanna do this?" she knew what he was really asking not weather but whom rather. She wouldn’t lie to him so she did the only thing she could. She pulled him to her & let him suck on her neck softly. She closed her eyes as he had his way with her.

They both laid intertwined in the sheets, completely spent. Nicki, more emotionally than physically. Safaree laid back on the mattress, hands above his head, content. Nicki rolled onto her side, her naked body wrapped in the soft Egyptian cotton. This was the part she hated. Living with herself after. All she could think about was how much it wasn’t the same. Those hands weren’t his hands, those eyes weren’t his eyes......those lips weren’t his lips. She was ashamed that this was what her life had become. But she knew it was important to her fans, her family that she did this. It would be selfish of her do the opposite even if her heart cried for her to. She flinched as she felt his fingers graze her back.

"Nic." he said softly. She knew sleep was coming for him.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"I love you." he yawned. She felt bad every time he said it. She knew she had to say it back. She just wished she could mean it in the same context.

"I love you too." she whispered. She closed her eyes as tears started to fall.